MONKEY-BUSINESS

(To be read by men only)

Worthless things seem to gain in value once they enter the area of a woman’s interest.

If it’s about the lamest man alive or about a Louis Vuitton replica purse, women love to make the worthless seem praiseworthy and the other way around. Nothing excites her more than making up strategies and tactics for turning cheap into dear, and gold into trash. She is the acknowledged governor of all understatements, and the crowned queen of all overstatements.

She can make everything happen, in any (im)possible way. More precisely, she puts a great deal of wit and a generous piece of passion in making up a new reality, conformable to her wish.

It doesn’t matter how striking the dissimilarity between her PR tactics and the actual object is, she’ll do everything to enforce her own truth on the most skeptical people.

Her determination is perplexing yet pathetic, puerile yet perfidious, and, above all, frightfully efficient. Trust me with this one: even often than assumed, the whole world ends up believing what she believes.

Dear Sir, for your innocent eyes, it may look comfortable to let her talents guide your views, because she gladly bends the reality until it suits your expectations. Yes, she’ll do that for you. If she really wants to. But she’ll tear everything down and declare it null and void the minute she changes her mind, leaving you aimless, overwhelmed by contradictions.

It is her natural condition to constantly work for you or against you; so don’t worry, or watch out. Nothing warms a man’s heart more than noticing how – if the woman wants it to be so – his mediocrity turns to sheer wisdom, right under his very eyes. Oh what a treat. Oh what a threat.

monkey business

(Foto: thepioneerwoman.com)